I’m here. I’m here in the present. I’m here in the present wishing I was in the future. I’m here as a result of my past decisions; as a result of my past thoughts; as a result of my past confessions. I don’t like where I’m at. I feel like I’m not supposed to be here. I feel like I’m in a place where I’m supposed to be prepared but in reality, I’m still getting ready. I feel like there’s more.

Sometimes I wish life was a video game where I can just restart from the last checkpoint. You know the action-adventure video game scenario: having failed in some areas, taken notes of those areas, then going again with better decisions to overcome the obstacles that stopped me before. Action-adventure video games…where you are most certain that the next level is going to be tougher than the last. But you can still restart from the last checkpoint if you can’t handle the difficulty of the new level.

I’ve realised that as much as I wish life was a video game so as to right my wrongs like nothing ever happened, life and video games are ironically similar in that you don’t get to move to the next level until you’ve defeated the enemies or greatest enemy in the present level. It brings me back to…here. I’ve also realised that even if I defeat the enemies I complain about, but fail to defeat the greatest enemy, I will still remain…here. The greatest and constant enemy I have to overcome in each level is myself.

Self-doubt, Self-esteem, Self-control, Self-discipline, Self-destruction.

“I really see nobody as a threat except the man in the mirror when I’m dealing with the flesh.” – Wale Davies

To make the best of what I have now, to move from here to there, I must submit to a higher power, a higher source – God. To be more specific, a higher power that has hands-on experience in successfully dealing with self when He was here. A higher power that is Jesus.

So while I’m here, I need to learn to let Him. I need to submit to the One who conquered and overcame here.

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4 Comments

  1. I deal with all my self issues trusting the One who has hands on experience dealing with self!KAI!beautiful piece.

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