It’s funny how starting to write an article can seem like the most difficult part of writing. I remember looking at the topic or what this article should be about and wondering how I am going to start and even more bewildering, what I am going to write about. But I am determined to grow as a writer so this is me, writing anyway.
We all have that moment when we need to sleep but can’t seem to close our eyes and actually get some sleep. For some people, this may be due to deep thoughts of a loved one. Others might experience this due to medical issues. But another set of individuals may experience this as a result of…..sleeping in the afternoon! Lol. I think we need to have some scientifically proven statistics for this situation to graduate into a theory or law, because it is still quite hypothetical to me. Make tiredness jam you first, if I hear sey sleep no go gather for your eye, afternoon nap or no afternoon nap.
Anyway, as for me, I tend to experience this situation as a result of anxiety. Maybe when I have a presentation coming up or something that involves facing the crowd or even a football match I have been looking forward to playing in. No matter how ready I am, my mind gets saturated with the thoughts of how it’s going to be. I start imagining how everything is going to happen. It’s almost like a burden. Like let it just come and go jare.
I remember when I was told – on a Champions League final day – that I would be the one to anchor the testimony session in the Sunday service which was the next day. I was still struggling with the shyness issue back then so I became quite unstable. I couldn’t even watch the final with a piece of mind. Yes I said “piece”. Because my mind was too divided to be in one piece. I was thinking of how it would be, what I would wear, what I would say and also trying to relaxingly watch the final all at once. I later went upstairs to play FIFA so as to inhibit the anxiety, but I could hardly concentrate on that as well. I can’t even remember if I struggled to sleep that night but all I can remember is that my mind wasn’t as calm as a troublesome baby asleep. The day came and everything went well. The funny thing is, when I experience something like this, and everything goes well or better than I expected, I wonder why I was even bothered or anxious in the first place.
Sometimes it is: I lay in bed and close my eyes to get some sleep but I can’t, because all I can think about is….tomorrow. What does tomorrow have in store for me? Is it good or bad? All I can think about is…..the future. Is the future even bright? Yes, I am the light of the world, but is my light bright enough to overcome this darkness that clouds my sight of the future?
Sometimes it is: I lay in bed and close my eyes to get some sleep but I can’t, all I can think about is today, why? Because it’s a new day and I can’t afford to miss that exam I have been preparing for after paying so much money for tuition and spending sleepless nights praying and reading. I can sleep after I ace it abeg.
Sometimes, we just worry too much.